1. Bella Swan: If I could summarize her personality in a sentence, I'd have to say this: She's a whiny, bratty, emo Mary-Sue who has no respect for ANY of her friends or family, and can't make up her mind about who to go with. My fish has more intelligence than her.

2. Edturd Cullen: He is an abusive 100-year-old creep. If I might add, he is a freaking CHIN that farts sparkles.

3. Harry Potter > Twilight. 'Nuff said.

4.Stalking and watching someone sleep is NOT romantic.

5. Even the character that plays Edward doesn't like Twilight. Sounds to me like a BURN.

6. "Oh Jacob, even though you probably would've treated me better than Edward, I'm still going to go w/ my beautiful lovey-dovey Eddie-poo. Here, I'll make it up to you though! I'll give you our baby daughter!"

7. Bella's a terrible role model.

8. The series encourages pedophilia, teenage pregnancy, suicide, brattiness, etc.

9. Give it up, fangirls. Edward (or Jacob, whatever) will NEVER marry you. Keep dreaming, because they're not real (le GASP) and the fantasies are a real turn-off.

10. As far as I know, the Twilight series only attracts one or two types of audiences. Brainless tween girls and single, desperate mothers.

11. If I'm right, Twilight will eventually fade out over a few years, if not sooner. It's just a fad.

12. It's got cliché written all over it. The new girl falls in love w/ a vampire, or whatever? Yawn; give me something else.

13. The fangirls are just plain NUTS.

14. There is hardly any plot, and it's about as microscopic as Bella's brain.
Oh yeah, Meyer also keeps contradicting the plot throughout the entire series.

15. Stephenie Meyer raped a thesaurus to try to make her book better, but just turned out to be an epic fail. Please, think of the thesauruses.

16. If you want to see some REAL vampires, and not these gay sparkly vamps Meyer dishes out to the world, put down the Twilight book and go read some Anne Rice.

17. Sesame Street is more exciting than Twilight, and The Count is more of a vampire than Edturd.

18. This is kind of a continuance of #16, but REAL vampires burn in the sunlight, not sparkle like a Barbie girl. "This is the skin of a killer, Bella." When I heard Edturd say that, it took me about 2 minutes to start breathing again because I was laughing too hard.

19. I can't even touch the book anymore w/o feeling a burning sensation in my hand.

20. The only thing the Twilight, New Moon, and whatever books are useful for is fire in my fireplace.

21. T-Pain can totally kick Edward's butt because he's on a BOAT.

While Jacob was forcefully kissing Bella (TWICE), the description of what was happening, the way she felt, and the whole thing seemed as if it were rape. Even if he didn't hold her down and have sex with her against her will, what he did was still forcing himself on her.

A fuckup like Bella, apparently.
GIVING UP COLLEGE TO MARRY A STALKER IS A-OKAY.

Ooooooh... Wait. I forgot about Renesme. 8D Nevermind, non-pedo Jacob statement retracted.

XD But Bella still is a pedo too.